Who Needs Aruba?

It's supposed to get really nice this week and I have nothing else to talk about, so it's road trip time again. Make sure you tinkle before we leave.

The World's Largest Ball of Twine Darwin, MN



Here it is, Boys and Girls. The World's Largest Ball of Twine. Isn't it magnificent? I know you've been waiting for it.

Francis Johnson is responsible for this miracle. This guy spent 4 hours every day for 39 YEARS wrapping some twine into a ball. Dude, are you mental? I calculated it. Four hours a day, and let's say that he took Saturday and Sunday off, is 1,040 hours a year. Multiplied by 39 years, that's 40,560 hours. Over 40,000 hours spent rolling twine INTO A BALL!!! Didn't he have a job? Or a wife and kids? Or anything, absolutely anything else to do?
If I had four hours to kill every single day, you can bet your ass I would find something a hell of a lot more exciting to do than make the world's largest cat toy.

There is another enormous ball of twine located in Cawker City, KS. According to Roadside America, "These balls have become symbols of civic pride for a few lucky communities." Oh, I got jokes, but who needs 'em?

How unfair is it that the same state boasts not only the world's largest twine ball, but also is home to one of the World's only double decker outhouses?

They also have this and this. That corn maze is pretty bad ass. Who knew Minnesota was such a hot bed of tourist attractions?
We're gonna make a pit stop at the Larry Craig Solicitation bathroom and we're picking up souvenirs at Eichten's Cheese-n-Bison so bring some spending money.

I wanna go see some humongous fake cows too.

Them's some tig ole bitties.