It was brought to my attention yesterday that there is a Burt Reynolds Museum. I discovered this because my boss left me a voicemail asking me to look up the phone number for said museum. As soon as I heard "Mrs. Pitsberger, can you get me the telephone number for the Burt Reynolds museum," I shouted "HA!!" and started laughing hysterically. Good thing I get to work earlier than most of my colleagues. Anyway, as soon as I knew that there was a Burt Reynolds Museum, I surfed over to Google. Remember I'm afflicted with Chronic Acute Nebbitosis. And by God, there IS a Burt Reynolds Museum. It's located in Jupiter, FL, which I think is appropriate because anyone who would actually visit a museum dedicated solely to the Bandit must be from another planet. Anyway, here (verbatim) is the mission statement:
"The mission of the Jupiter Film and Theatre Institute is to provide educational opportunities to young actors and filmmakers, and to preserve the history of the cultural contributions of Burt Reynolds."
On the one hand, that is a noble mission. I mean, think about it. If it weren't for Burt Reynolds, Trans Ams would never get their due. Especially the ones with eagles and the like painted on their hoods. And I ask you: who rocks a seventies porn 'stache better than Burt?
Proof that the answer is no one.
On the other hand, "THE CULTURAL CONTRIBUTIONS OF BURT REYNOLDS"?!!! Are you freakin' kidding me? Burt Reynolds? The Burt Reynolds that Norm MacDonald impersonates? You know when you're a joke? When they make you a SNL character.
Just a few things you can see at the Burt Reynolds and Friends Museum:
The Deliverance Canoe, the Bandit Car, the helmet from "The Longest Yard" and the boots from Burt's most famous and well-acted movie ever, "Striptease." But the very best part is the gift shop.
Check out this bad boy and remember that my birthday is in November.
Hopefully, I can hold out that long.